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Sunday, May 11, 2014

WHO AM I?

                                                                                
The missing chapters of my life are now filling up. The empty pages that once tormented me are slowly being engraved. Maybe it was me who never had the courage to turn the page. I thought that being successful and leading a content life was the purpose my life. I assumed that leading the way was better than being led. Although, it turned out that it was a part of a mirage created by my selfishness ‘If I do well, I will live up to everyone’s expectation’ that’s what always occupied my mind. Until now, I have only thought of succeeding and doing well. It was only, I, me and myself, because I thought that destiny was our own making. However, my life took a different turn. The introvert me began to fade and I realized that I wasn’t the only one to feel that way. I recognized the strength and connections of friendship. My friends helped me and guided me to a new path of life. They taught me that challenges in life are lesson in disguise. I learnt to acknowledge and was acknowledged on return.
Who really am I? What’s my destiny? And where does my future lie? Before, it took me eternity to answer these questions as I had no clue of what I wanted in life. But, now I realized what the purpose of my life is. Other than family obligation, societies’ responsibilities and as a student, I do have additional role to play. The role that can influence the people. I always had a passion in writing, but never have I thought that I would take it as my career.  It doesn’t matter whether I become a journalist or not, but I want to give voice to the unvoiced, create awareness and to help the deprived ones. I may not be the best but I don’t want to lack behind either. It’s really difficult to define myself. Sometimes I am crazy yet I am rational. I am impatient but I am tolerant too. Usually I don’t converse with people but at-times I become talkative. I live with the philosophy, “No one can make you inferior unless yourself.”

With the small community, our actions can make a big difference. The future that I have decided on is filled with difficulties and competition. Nevertheless, through guidance and assistance from teachers and friends I will be able to fulfill my destiny. Not a soul can predict the future. No one knows what life has been stored for us. But then again, it’s in our capability to make it better. There’s a distinction between creating a better future and dreaming of better future. Any person can dream of better prospect but only a hard-working with passion can create a future. For that reason, I want to work hard and create a better hope for everyone. despite my own failure and weakness i have already embarked on this journey.The journey to my destiny has already begun. 

Monday, April 21, 2014

as long as you are with me.


My life was empty and it was difficult living. The only thought that occupied my mind was 'you are a loser, and won't succeed in anything'. It got harder every day. Although I had friends who cheered for me and was supportive. Yet...the empty space in my life was never filled. I am person whose destiny is uncertain, I have dreams and ambition but not the courage to make it happen. I have hopes and aspiration but it is like an illusion...What is my purpose? Where lies my future? What is stored in for me?....that...I really didn't know. It's not that I never reflected on these questions.... these never left me alone. the more i ponder on it the more it got difficult and confusing.
Middle schools and high schools were filled with fantasies. It was the companion of my mates that my life brightened up. Friendship for me became an important part of my life. If it wasn't for them, my life would have been miserable.I would still be living alone, somewhere at the corner. Friendship, as i grew...it grew and strengthened with me. It shaped my life and my understanding of the world. My life has become less miserable and I enjoy each passing days. Some times, I question myself, 'where is that girl who was afraid to live?'  and  i answer... 'that girl died a long time ago'.
The feeling of remorse and guilt that had filled me have disappeared. My friends have brightened my life... Moreover, it changed my prospect of life. What i am today, i owe it to my friends. Without them, i would not be here. The importance of friendship, no one knows it better than me.
My life is more cheerful and  worth living and it's all coz i have my friends with me. My life is beautiful as long as you are with me...
THANK YOU FRIENDS.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

can't afford to love....

no matter how much i tried to get a grip of myself... i only land up hurting. the very idea of falling in love... it gives me chill down my spine. it's not because i don't want to... it's just that i am afraid. i have seen my friends cry, seen them doing the most ridiculous things and creating a chaos. i don't want to put myself in their shoes. don't want to be betrayed and back-stabbed. don't want my expectation to shatter nor my dreams and hopes. i can understand the pain of losing someone dear ... i do know how it feels when someone close to you disappears without a trace...know how it feels when some one who used to stay by your side, just leaves without a word of goodbye...
"you cant live alone"...my friends always reminds me of that. but just to have a company, i don't want to mislead anyone. it was the most difficult decision of my life, and now i can't turn back from my words. i have already made up my mind and now i just can't go hare-ware. i can't go astray. i just can't....can't afford to fall in love.

Monday, March 31, 2014

life

I try to hide away my tears but this impeccable liquid flows down
I try to be strong but this failing strength gives away
I pretend to be happy but only I know the truth
I try to smile away sorrow but it isn’t going away
I try to gush down my pain but it’s never going to leave
I try not to care but this stubborn heart fails me
Is this what you call life? Is it worth living?
A life, tampered with pains and suffering
Obstacles boulder the every successive journey
Life indeed is what people call a ‘big unsolved mystery’




missing

Every day I yearn for your presence
That soothing smile across your lips
And that beautiful stunning eyes
I remember the way you took my hand
But it was my heart that you took away
The way you made butterflies in my stomach
And the way you looked at me with that smile

Although the distance of us is greater
But the promise we made still encloses us
The fate of us stands strong against all
Determined and resistance to the chaos of the world
Free and vigilant, that’s how our minds are
Empty and dark turned by the bitterness
But forget not, you are home to me

Wind of change

Time have lapsed away
Yet I remain attached to the nostalgia
Of the remaining fragments
The spree of life was bottled for you
But you saccharine it blissfully

Innocence filled our past; of our time
Unaware of hectic cosmos around
But it’s far away now; eons away
It’s only the fragments that’s left
Savored in this agony circus
Unfelt, by the universe or forgotten

Your last image daggered my soul
Fresh tears slides with your memory
Rooted to the ground I stood
While you drenched in blood lay
Eying me for help; your last hope
Alas! Forgive me my dear
For I couldn’t assist you; numb I remained
I watched you being taken away
Far away from my life, from my grasps

How I wish to turn back the wheel
To moment every single second
To savor your cheering laughter
And play without fear of world
To sing without dread of being heard
But it’s gone now, never to turn
Gone with the wind of change

unrequited love

    

Safe me from this unrequited love
For I can’t withstand the enduring pain
 The gulf of pain, wrecked the ship of my peace
Oh…this unworthy love of mine
Can’t illumine my shadowed life
Darkness creeps me within
Can’t uphold myself to meet your gaze
Your presence stoops me now

Drowned by your bitterness
I gasped for air of freedom
Agony defines my life
Coldness overwhelms me inside
How can the light skim away?
Farther away from me

The clouds of betrayal lingers above
As though it’ll shower its wrath
To thee I pray,
Never let love darken my door again
For I’ve aggrieved it well
I’ve no strength to confront it
Nor the wisdom to understand
Pray that time elapse away
The pain bygone with it  

can you forget?


Can you forget the wounds of past?
Amidst of the pain and it’s scar
Betrayal might have been easily earned
Trust and truth bleeds the price
Reminiscence of yester-year wrinkles the time
Beautiful youth escapes through crack
The unforgettable days reshoring again

 Can you overlook the wounds of past?

Friday, March 28, 2014

our life is full of surprises... and it's also true that big things comes in small packages! until now i have been wondering what life is all about. i have wondered along without ambition of my own, lived for other people and without expectation of any kind or hope of better life. i have been living in accordance to the rules and regulation set by the society...been trapped here foe a while now... but now, it's time for me wake up. it's time for me to spread my wings and set off to my destiny. i am not sure what life have stored in my journey, not sure where it will lead me... but i have taken this journey, my new beginning...
i can forgive you for your mistake but cannot forget the pain i endured. i can befriend you but cannot trust you again... i can like you but then...i cant afford to love you again...

Monday, March 17, 2014

sometimes you got to fall down and bleed. you need to crumble down and loose faith. you got to accept failure and loose hope. sometimes you....just need to burn out...coz that's when you will realize that true meaning of life. that is when you will find the courage and determination to stand and fight back. that's the time when you will confront your true self. acceptance of failure is not failure, it's your victory against your ego and yourself.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

sometimes it's not about how you face a situation but how you want to face it...

Thursday, January 2, 2014

have a passion to thrill you, a dream to conquer, an attitude not to heel.

drop me here