Monday, April 21, 2014

as long as you are with me.

My life was empty and it was difficult living. The only thought that occupied my mind was 'you are a loser, and won't succeed in anything'. It got harder every day. Although I had friends who cheered for me and was supportive. Yet...the empty space in my life was never filled. I am person whose destiny is uncertain, I have dreams and ambition but not the courage to make it happen. I have hopes and aspiration but it is like an illusion...What is my purpose? Where lies my future? What is stored in for me?....that...I really didn't know. It's not that I never reflected on these questions.... these never left me alone. the more i ponder on it the more it got difficult and confusing.
Middle schools and high schools were filled with fantasies. It was the companion of my mates that my life brightened up. Friendship for me became an important part of my life. If it wasn't for them, my life would have been miserable.I would still be living alone, somewhere at the corner. Friendship, as i grew and strengthened with me. It shaped my life and my understanding of the world. My life has become less miserable and I enjoy each passing days. Some times, I question myself, 'where is that girl who was afraid to live?'  and  i answer... 'that girl died a long time ago'.
The feeling of remorse and guilt that had filled me have disappeared. My friends have brightened my life... Moreover, it changed my prospect of life. What i am today, i owe it to my friends. Without them, i would not be here. The importance of friendship, no one knows it better than me.
My life is more cheerful and  worth living and it's all coz i have my friends with me. My life is beautiful as long as you are with me...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

can't afford to love....

no matter how much i tried to get a grip of myself... i only land up hurting. the very idea of falling in love... it gives me chill down my spine. it's not because i don't want to... it's just that i am afraid. i have seen my friends cry, seen them doing the most ridiculous things and creating a chaos. i don't want to put myself in their shoes. don't want to be betrayed and back-stabbed. don't want my expectation to shatter nor my dreams and hopes. i can understand the pain of losing someone dear ... i do know how it feels when someone close to you disappears without a trace...know how it feels when some one who used to stay by your side, just leaves without a word of goodbye...
"you cant live alone" friends always reminds me of that. but just to have a company, i don't want to mislead anyone. it was the most difficult decision of my life, and now i can't turn back from my words. i have already made up my mind and now i just can't go hare-ware. i can't go astray. i just can't....can't afford to fall in love.

drop me here